Friday, December 25, 2009

After thoughts...

It is 8 years later, yet it still seems like yesterday, I guess it always will. I think a lot about that night, driving back there, thinking, “woman you are nuts” ,it was just your imagination, I can go with that, but what gets me is, how did I know where to go ?
You never get over this, time does not heal the loss of a child , time heals the loss of some loves, parents ,siblings, husbands ,wives, aunts, uncles, but never a child.
Nothing heals the loss, because you physically lose a part of yourself, especially a mother , it is there in your heart/soul/mind and gut forever. Time makes it easier to bear, just a little easier, even now I just have to think about him and the ache and the tears will come. I had never given much thought to dying until I lost him, it was then I knew dying in his place would be a good way to go.
I will cry for the loss of my oldest son until I meet him again, and I know that that's the way it is and always will be, and I will handle that.

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