Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Spiritual guidance...

Its the Wednesday night before the weekend , its already dark, about 7:30 pm, I'm watching TV, hubby's asleep. Without any thought what so ever , I get up, walk into the kitchen , pick up the keys to the truck, jump in and drive into the darkness......

It's not that far up the highway where I have to turn up the Wentworth Road. About a mile up the road I start to cry, really wailing, I pull over, I can't do this. All of a sudden ,Shawn is beside me, he says its OK mum, its OK, I'm with you, so I keep driving, there are roads everywhere,I can't believe how many , a maze of woods roads that all look alike and I am talking out loud and agitated and desperately thinking, I will never find it , he says its OK mum ,its OK and 45 minutes later , by myself in the dark , in the middle of no where ,with my son beside me,we arrive. There is the marker that the boys had put up and there is the corner.
We drive around the corner and back, around and back, around and back, five times, all the while me trying to determine what had happened, how did this happen Shawnie, what happened ? and then he tells me, “ I was just going too fast mum, no seat belt, you know me.”
I situated the truck so the lights would shine on the cross on the hill , got out, climbed up the little embankment, and sat there for the longest time, crying the longest and hardest I had ever in my whole life. Then I drove home, by myself, calm in my mind that now I knew why. The next day, I couldn't believe I had done that, and many ,many times since I have wondered how I had. I can only write it off to spiritual guidance.

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