Thursday, December 17, 2009

Into the Darkness

I had never gone to the site, I couldn't, but I knew that I had to go that next November and I knew why. I had seen his vehicle , the Polaris with the roll bars that he was so proud of when he brought it out to my house to leave for a few days before heading back to camp. He took me for a ride, so happy that he wouldn't have to wear a helmet anymore , though it did have seat belts.
When I saw it after the accident I couldn't even look at it, it almost made me sick.The question that haunted me was 'why' why did this happen ? Everything happens for a reason. What was the reason ? The statement was "they weren't going that fast, nor that slow". No booze, no drugs. So I thought, you need to go there , yes, you can do this , pick a nice day on the anniversary weekend, maybe Sunday, get directions and a map drawn up on Friday by people who knew where it was.
That was the plan.
I don't know what happened to the plan, I guess Shawn had a different idea.
Its the Wednesday night before the weekend , its already dark, about 7:30 pm, I'm watching TV, hubby's asleep. Without any thought what so ever , I get up, walk into the kitchen , pick up the keys to the truck, jump in and drive into the darkness......

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