I prayed that night, cried and prayed ,hard, that God would just switch us, just switch, if you have all the control in the world you can do it, please God, please bring him back, you can have me , really you can have me. I'll do anything , anything.
I cannot even remember most of what I did and when, but certain things still come to mind. I remember sitting on the coach, looking out the window and wondering why the trees were still green, why the sun was still shining and especially, why the hell were people still moving around ? it made me angry.
Then there was a day when I just lost it, sobbing so hard that I could hardly breath,praying so hard for my son to just tell me that he was still here. Then outside the window a male Cardinal landed in the tree, my mind said,"there he is", he stayed for several minutes to let me know that it was OK, he was still with me. Of course this is what I believe because I had to have something to believe, you just have to have something to hold onto.
For awhile, after the funeral,my dreams brought him home, he was just fishing in Newfoundland somewhere, he was just away.
Never say never
5 years ago